How to curb your child’s hyperactive behavior right before bed!

We have all been there. We are exhausted from our day, and are just ready for our kids to go to bed! Our frustration tolerance is low, but our kids are bouncing off the walls and cannot settle down. Ugh!! 

This can be a common pattern at bedtime for a lot of school-aged children. Thankfully, there are several things that can help your child settle their bodies and brains, and get to bed!

Discuss the Issue with your Child

The first step is to make your child aware that he or she seems to be having a hard time settling down for bed. Brainstorm together some ideas that might make bedtime easier. You may be surprised to hear what your child has to say! Once you create a plan, write it down, and post it as a nightly reminder for your child. Check in the following day, and talk about what worked, and what they did well. Shower them with praise for sticking with whatever part of the plan (big or small) they were able to successfully complete. Kids generally seek praise, so offer it profusely when they do a good job. 

Ensure Plenty of Activity During the Day

Be sure that your child is physically active during the day. We encourage kids to exercise at least one hour a day. This can help them expend energy, and lead to better sleep. However, doing strenuous exercise right before bed can be counterproductive. So, reserve the hour before bed for quiet activities.

Set the Tone for Bedtime

We know that consistency at bedtime is key for children. So, pick a consistent bedtime—this should be the same on the weekends. School-aged kids under 13 generally need 9 to 11 hours of sleep per night. Try to get them up at the same time everyday too.

Develop a consistent bedtime routine. This does not have to be elaborate, and your child can make suggestions about their ideal bedtime routine. Your bedtime routine may include a bath, a bedtime story, and a snuggle. Whatever you come up, try to do the same thing every night.

Create a sleep environment that is amenable to sleep. Sleep experts agree that this would be a dark and cool room, with no screens, and minimal distractions. A fan can also be helpful to make the room cool and provide some white noise. Try to maintain your child’s bed as just a place for sleeping, so they associate falling asleep with their bed.

Avoid Stimulating Activities Before Bed

Try your best to limit things like screen time, rough housing and high intensity exercise during the 60 minutes before bed. Instead, try to encourage your child to explore quiet activities. Things like coloring or drawing, building with legos, yoga, reading, and audio books are perfect. It can be helpful to have your whole family participate in this quiet, wind-down activity.

Promote Relaxation Once in Bed

Once you get your child in bed, work on some relaxation exercises. Breathing exercises can be a perfect way for your child’s brain and body to know that it is time for bed. Plus, these are useful tools for whenever they are feeling overwhelmed! So, it doesn’t hurt to practice. 

Children often do well with box breathing, in which they visualize a box, and breathe in for 4 seconds along the top of the box, hold the breath for 4 seconds on the side, breathe out for 4 seconds along the bottom of the box, and then hold the breath again for 4 seconds on the side.

Belly breathing is also an excellent way to signal your brain to slow down. For children, I think it is helpful to used stuffed animals while doing belly breathing, and let those animals go for a ride! Put a stuffed animal on their belly, and when they breathe in, their belly (and animal) should rise, and when breathing out their belly (and animal) should fall. 

Progressive muscle relaxation is another thing that can be helpful. Work with your child to tense up one muscle group (for example, curl you toes) for 5-10 seconds, then exhale and release the tension. Gradually work your way up your body, from your toes to your face.

Some kids may benefit from a warm blanket (just throw it in the dryer for a few minutes!) or a weighted blanket while trying to fall asleep. This be very calming, and make a child feel safe and secure.

Sleep meditation, sleep stories, or music can also help your child relax and clear their minds. There are many great options available online for children. Let your child pick what they find most helpful.

Finally, a bedtime journal next to the bed can be useful, especially if you child has a busy brain with a lot of ideas floating around. They can jot down all the things they are thinking about, and return to them in the morning after they’ve had a good night’s sleep.

Recognize Overtired Kids

An overtired child is much more likely to be hyperactive at bedtime. When we are in a state of exhaustion, our stress hormones increase. And, our body’s natural response to being overtired is to fight sleep. Then, the hyperactivity ensues! Although it seems counterintuitive, putting your hyper child to bed a bit earlier may help them settle down easier. To help adjust your child’s bedtime, I like to use a strategy called bedtime fading:

Hang in there! With your help and some time, your child can learn these self-regulation techniques, and your child’s bedtime struggles will go eventually go away. I promise!