Desserts...are they okay?
As a general pediatrician I talked to families about eating at almost every visit. One of the most common questions I got was about dessert and sweets. Are they okay? How often should a parent offer them?
I believe that there are no “bad” foods. Children should be offered sweets and desserts, but in moderation, and at scheduled meal and snack times. If a child does not get access to sweets or desserts, they become a forbidden fruit. Then they gorge on them when they get the chance. I’ve seen this at my own house when my daughters have friends over. There are some friends that raid our pantry and literally stuff their pockets with candy. These are likely the same kids that will horde candy at home and hide it around their room. This leads to unhealthy habits once children are out from under their parent’s wing—they spend their money on junk food as soon as they have some independence, can go overboard on sweets while away at camp or college, and can ultimately develop overeating issues.
So what can you do to help your children develop a better relationship with sweets? The answer may surprise you: You should offer them sweets regularly. By having regular access to sweets, your child will develop a healthier relationship with desserts. They will learn that they don’t have to stuff themselves with candy or cake just because it is available. Rather, they will eat it if it sounds good and they have room, and stop when they are full.
Parents are often skeptical of this advice. How could a kid ever learn to moderate eating sweets when chocolate chip cookies are always available? But, research has backed up this advice. Ellyn Satter is a nutritionist, and is considered the leading expert on pediatric feeding. She created a model of feeding children than involves a division of responsibility: the parent is responsible for providing regular meals and snacks, and the child is responsible to eat the amount they need. She suggests that you provide sweets or desserts as part of a meal or snack. This should not be a reward for finishing your dinner, but rather part of a well-balanced meal. The child can eat the dessert at any time during the meal. Sweets are limited to one serving, and are always served during a designated snack or meal time.
When you first start doing what Satter recommends, you will likely notice that your kids will eat the dessert first. However, as time goes on, and sweets are normalized as a part of a well-rounded diet, your child will start to self regulate. I remember a Thanksgiving celebration meal at my daughter’s preschool where they had pumpkin pie as part of the spread. Most parents denied their child a piece of pie until they ate their meal. I allowed my daughter to take a piece as part of her meal. She took a few bites first, and then went on to eat most of the rest of her meal. She did not come back to the pie. Because dessert was a normal part of her life, she did not feel like she had to stuff herself with the pie after she finished her meal (and was maybe no longer even hungry). At 4 years old she was already learning to self regulate and stop when she was full, even when sweets were involved.
You can expect that at some point in their lives your child will overindulge with sweets and junk food. We all do! But, that is a normal part of life. Once they learn that they don’t feel great if they eat too many Skittles, they will learn to regulate and only eat as many that make them feel satisfied.
